Okay. [minor spoilers ahead, in my opinion, they don't spoil major plot points or anything]

I'm trying to pour out all my feelings coherently. I don't think it's working. CUT ME SOME SLACK, BOOK HANGOVERS ARE HARD. (Spoilers don't really matter, because most of the spoilers I allude to in this review are kind of obvious from reading like 10 pages of the book...ANYWAY.)

I really really really hope you realized that I LOVED THIS BOOK. A Court Of Mist And Fury is a thing of beauty and darkness and ravaging and freedom and finding out who your true friends are. I think it is absolute magnificence.

First of all, the ROMANCE. BE STILL MY OTP HEART. I have to say, I was a Feysand shipper since Day 1, when Feyre met him at Calanmai and was like, "YO. HOTTEST DUDE EVER. STANDING RIGHT THERE. HE SAVED ME. OML." (I mean she was still loyal to Tamlin at that point, so...) BUT NEVERTHELESS. I was still like, "YO! SUPER HOT DUDE WHO HAS A DAMN GOOD HEART AND SAVED YOUR LIFE. HE'S A KEEPER." And then she stuck with Tamlin over ACOTAR.

What's great about Rhysand is that he really RESPECTED Feyre's space and independence. I saw this post on tumblr and it went something like: "Ianthe: try on this pretty dress! // Feyre: ok // Tamlin: stay at home ok? // Feyre: i guess. i lost something // Tamlin: what? // Feyre: my will to live // Ianthe: ok but still try on this dress." Very definitive of the first chapter. As you know, Feyre is not one to be coddled like that but she WAS. The Spring Court all treated her like she was so fragile, and couldn't handle the pain and traumatization! They kind of had it right on that last part, but keeping her indoors as if she was in a cage definitely wasn't helping! Anyway, she finally snaps, and Rhysand whisks her away.

Now I want to talk about something before I begin talking about the magic that is Rhysand (I know you want it but PATIENCE CHILD). During Feyre's time at the Spring Court, that whole first section of the book, I kept thinking that Sarah J. Maas was writing in a weird style. There was something about the writing. It was kind of clipped, in a feverish way. It was very subtle, but I think it represented the bewilderedness and anxiety of Feyre being cooped up with no one to properly help her recover from Amarantha and becoming High Fae without expressly stated consent. (AND NO I WASN'T FLAILING ON GOODREADS ABOUT HOW I WAS VERY CONFUZZLED BY THE WRITING STYLE AT FIRST NO NO I WASN'T I WAS COOL AND CALM ABOUT IT YESSIREE)

About the difference between Tamlin and Rhysand: while I don't want to get too into detail, there is one key difference: one acknowledges his actions, and one doesn't! Also, Tamlin has some pretty shady history! His hands are NOT clean - quite the opposite in fact! I love that SJM took off the sugar coating from his character, showing us the harsh truth that contrary to what most YA novels might want to tell you, the first love interest is NOT always going to be the love of your life. This is a theme in SJM's other series Throne Of Glass, too! The protagonist doesn't stay with the first guy forever. Feyre fell in love with Tamlin because he was there at the right place in the right time for her love. He rescued her at a very low time for her and her family. Imagine starving, and not having enough money to buy any. BOOM. You hunt a wolf, and later a hot Fae comes over and is gruff at first, then reveals that he's good and caring for our family's every whim. Wouldn't you fall in love with him too? But there are always different sides to the story!

I really really really liked the overall story. There were so many careful details that were just naturally tossed in, like a childhood memory, or a nursemaid someone once had, that totally added and made a difference in how masterfully this writing was done. ACOMAF was so elegantly crafted, and while I am a fan of Sarah J. Maas, I was not expecting the level of goodness this book is! There are SO many new backstories and flashbacks and details that are revealed about all of the characters' pasts (and some hidden as a premonition!) that just tie the story together. [Show spoiler][Hide spoiler]
AND THAT WHOLE FIRST CALANMAI SCENE MADE SENSE. I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL. MY INNER RHYSAND RADAR SNIFFED IT OUT! ACOTAR was definitely the beginning of character development and plotline, while ACOMAF is the FLESH of the story. I definitely recommend this to anyone that doubted this trilogy by judging ACOTAR only! Will it get better in book 3? I sure hope so! While you wait, I totally love this fic of what someone wrote as their personal book 3! TRUE DEDICATION, Y'ALL. There's like forty chapters!

ANYWAY. I really love that Feyre isn't a lovestruck maiden (like she kinda was with Tamlin at first because DUH - hot fae warrior dude with a huge dilemma of getting a human chick to fall for him to save the kingdom?? FORBIDDEN LOVE ANGST STORY ALERT) in ACOTAR, because she's survived horrible experiences (Amarantha ahem ahem) and has been through a couple toxic relationships already. At least she learns. She doesn't clamber instantly for the love of a dude (like those YA protagonists who jump from one dude to the next). SHE TAKES TIME TO KNOW HIM AS A FRIEND FIRST. Important stuff, ladies! Feyre is actually fine subsisting on her own and being independent - who needs men? Yes, Rhysand DID help her a bunch after her traumatic Tamlin situation, but all in all, she really just needed to get away from him. Everyone needs guiding/rescuing sometimes.

I really really enjoyed the friendship and Inner Circle dynamics of this book. Rhysand had LADIES in his inner, most trusted circle of warriors and friends! Amren and Mor totally SLAYED. They're total examples that you can keep going and living your life even if something very disturbing happens to you - even if you haven't been able to go back to your beloved home in a LONG time. I think they're great people to have around Feyre, and be her badass lady squad! Nesta and Elain, Feyre's sisters, are like the moon and sun. Nesta is stark, stoic, and strong to protect her loved ones. Elain is gentle and lovely, but will still fight as hard as she can to do what it takes for what she loves. Cassian (golden dude) and Azriel (brooding shadow dude) are both incredible as well! They have very distinct personalities and harbor loves for certain people. Rhysand is just very well developed - so damn sexy and flirty and HEART EYES GALORE. He is partly this cold High Lord who does what has to be done to keep of the pretense to protect his people and what he loves. He is also a very kind, loyal guy who openly loves and protects Velaris and the Illyrians. Ah, the Illyrians. You can tell that the flying Illyrian warriors treasure they wings above anything. Whenever someone tortures them, it will be hurting their wings that breaks their strong spirits. And who can blame them? Illyrian fae get majestic, powerful, beautiful wings that take them places, soaring where others cannot. The breathless thrill of the wind on their faces, flying free.... Wings are very valuable.

{side note: this is a more mature novel compared to normal YA! SEXY TIMES! some NSFW scenes!}

{other side note: i would make a moodboard for this story since it was so awesome with imagery, but i'm not talented enough with finding images. i would also write poetry to describe feysand's eternal love, but also not poetic enough!}

{side note 3: i don't wanna be mainstream and like this so much (EW WHY IS THERE SO MUCH HYPE I MEAN IT DESERVES IT BUT I WANNA KEEP IT ALL TO MYSELF I'M SELFISH I KNOW BUT I DON'T LIKE BEING MAINSTREAM OK I LIKE BEING SPECIAL), but Sarah truly made a gem of a novel. [clapping hands emoji here] 👏}

{side note 4: ew how long was this post? VERY. y'all should just implore me to write you guys monologues or something. they'll be dramatic and freaky and flailing and you'll love it.}

"Life is bullshit."

I, er, don't even know how to start with this review. I am horrific at using time wisely, so of course I read it about 5 days before I decided to review it. Luckily, I only forget some things... *cue worried audience of maybe one person*

Aliens

You must've (mistakenly??) thought this was sci-fi! Well you're right for the first 150 pages, at least. Then the aliens don't really show up until they're needed as an obstacle for Henriego (yes I made a ship name don't judge - they're so cutteeee). Still wondering if the whole alien/doomsday thing was a giant metaphor for whether Henry thought the world was worth saving/living for or not. Clever, Mr. Brilliant Author. CLEVER.

The Characters

The characters are all such tortured little bunnies - I want to fanatically squeeze them all and tell them everything's going to be okay... Except it probably isn't, because, you know - doomsday is coming and all that. Henry was SUCH a refreshing perspective! He was incredibly strong and brave and quirky, but you could tell he still had flaws - he could be a little more thoughtful, a little more brave, a little more lots of things. Potential. But he wasn't. And that was enough for the people around him. He was still struggling to deal with Jesse's suicide (his former boyfriend whom he loved a bunch but I never really cared for him because we never met him??) while Marcus, his messed up, secretly gay, flamboyantly popular fuck buddy (this book is a book of tortured souls, man) makes Henry feel like dirt. Then they hook up a bunch still. Then Diego comes in.

(also here's a good depression quote from this book)

“Depression isn't a war you win. It's a battle you fight every day. You never stop, never get to rest.”

DIEGO. I LOVE DIEGO VEGA. I'm pretty sure there's an artist with a similar name. *Googles artist* YES THERE IS A ARTIST WITH THE NAME OF DIEGO! Awwwww.... Look at Helen remembering stuff from art class and studying Frida Kahlo! ANYWAY. Diego is also tortured (an ongoing trend here - but I love it #sorrynotsorry), and he has a shady past that Henry wants to know about but Diego refuses to tell him (until a point when they knew each other really well and were really close so then they have heart-to-heart confessions). He's such a character! I loved him with Henry, because Diego showed up (pretending to be a nude model actually) at a time when Henry was an emotional pile of dog shit (thanks Marcus) and super-depressed and not wanting to press the button, and is pretty much what keeps Henry from killing himself. Honestly, they're all such deep, emotionally raw characters with issues (ahem Marcus ahem) and I don't even know how to describe it.

Henriego

With time, I could probably think up a better ship name. Alas, I don't have the time. ANYWAY. Their banter:

"Mr. Kauffman forced us to read A Farewell To Arms last year. I hated it. Hemingway's writing is so bland. He never says anything."...
"It's not about what he says but what he doesn't say."
I sniffed the air. "I smell bullshit. Do you smell bullshit?"
..."It's not bullshit... Hemingway wrote in the negative spaces. His stories were shaped by what he didn't tell you."
"It still sounds like bullshit," I said with a smirk.

YOU SEE THAT? SEE IT. They're so cute! [Show spoiler][Hide spoiler]
And that KISS SCENE. HOT. HOT MAKEOUT SCENES GALORE.

Me Trying To Figure Out My Feelings On This Book

Me Trying To Figure Out My Feelings On The Ending

Seriously. I don't know if this is a spoiler or not so be warned: this is the last sentence (not including the letter to Ms. Faraci...

"Honestly? It doesn't matter."

YES. You guessed it. HE IS TALKING ABOUT THE WHOLE DOOMSDAY THING. AH. WAH. Really just adds to my theory that it was all just a spectacularly huge metaphor for whether Henry will think the world is worth saving. Very thought provoking. I think this is a fitting ending for a spectacular novel.

“We're all Holden Caulfield at fifteen, but when we grow up we want to be Atticus Finch.”

Thoughts

All in all, I absolutely LOVED this novel. I might, er, be flailing, er, a LITTLE bit (hahaha understatement of the year).... but I can see why some people might DNF after the first 150 pages. I don't know, I guess some people are genuinely interested in sci-fi! Lol, no - sci-fi is really cool, but THIS BOOK ISN'T THAT. Some people just don't like romance? And then the rest of the people are homophobes. If you're homophobic, what are you doing here? #weneeddiversebooks ANYWAY. I loved this book, some might not love it, I read it and it got me out of a slump, yada yada. JUST READ THE DAMN BOOK. You won't regret it? :)